Wondering WHY

It's been quite a time since I last blogged.
Life now , are just like a daily routine.
Wake up , work , home , & bed time then back to the square .
Time check : 2:17 AM , yes , I'm supposed to be sleeping or in my lala land already .

Problems , back to the square one . I supposed .
Maybe , I'm just a paranoid person . But , it's not something I wished to be one .
Like what friends said , one can help his/her friends when they met with troubles .
But when one met his/her own one , one can't help himself/herself that much.
It's true though , I've been giving advice , everything I could help for my beloved friends , for people who meant something to me .
But , when I'm down with problems , it's hard for me to even find a way out for myself . Like , HAH !
Ohmansx , I don't think I deserved this treatment , by torturing my sleep time .

Met up with Jocelyn last week for outing . IT fair , BluJazz .
It felt better , or I felt calmer , when I'm around somewhere where it's quiet , calm & with soothing music .
Nothing makes it even better than that .
Song listening to now : Nobody - Wonder Girls
It's like , all the recent songs I heard of was of a slower rythm , suddenly change to a pop one , it scared me .

Work was alright . Transferred to raffles city , new environment again .
I went to all the outlets of Jwest already , left with department stores . Are they going to transfer me to there , then ?
Sometimes , it sucks . To wondering why are they transferring you to & fro then . Annoying .
It's like , everytime , I'm used to a new environment , within weeks , I'm being transferred to a new one .
New shoes , new arrangements , new counter . I felt , uneasy . Or even , clumsy .
Sometimes , i wonder what are the heads thinking man . They really like to mess up their staff schedule . Duty roster is also in a mess .
& also , everytime being transferred . It meant , new faces . Not the ones you used to face .
But the staff there are friendly , like seriously . It just takes only 1 day to warm up with them . (:

I missed working at tamp1 though . Even if I worked there now , my favourite or best sisters won't be there anymore .
F.nee sister got transferred to department store @ taka . My favourite ivy sister just started her school , busying studying to get her master cert .
It takes 1 week to warm up with them , to be that close to them .
It only takes the heads 1 day , to decide for separating us . ):
I still remember the times when I was working alone , the familiar storeroom at tamp1 , the familiar counter .
I can imagine how the 3 of us used to work together . Talking away , eating snacks away , talked about shows , listened to scary stories .
& even the time when i was being forced to watch 1 short scary show , I still remember how I clung to the shelfs & half crying & shouting that I don't wanna watch it . & their reactions , which was to laugh at me and teased me .
I remembered how i was being forced by them to sit on the chair , so that they can play with my hair , & doll me up with their accessories / make-up .
I still remember what was our last farewell meal , a good one though . Popeyes , we sat in the storeroom , enjoying for the last moment that we can eat together .
This is life , things that you can't control , because you don't have the power to stop it or letting it happen .

Working @ raffles isn't bad , but my mood was worst .
Because all I can see , was customers , & shoes ,
I'm so used to standing opposite Dorothy Perkins , looking at the clothes or shorts they have , & discussing which one was nicer .
Now , Dorothy Perkins was replaced by Topshop , which I can see nothing . Even if I saw something , who else can I call to & discuss with ?
I'm so used to having my seat being shared with someone while eating lunch or dinner .
But now , the seat is just mine , alone .
I'm so used to having someone to talk to while eating , but now , it became a communication between texts , caring for one another through messages .
Looking back , I realized how much fun they brought to me , how much memorable memories we once had . At least , we knew that , there's these sisterhood bond in us .
I missed taking bus rides , but not mrt rides .

Maybe , this is how work life is supposed to be .
But , how saddening it can be , to know that , each of us went a separate ways , working at different counters .

As for family , how sad . I always off on weekdays , not on weekends . Family outing , nah .
I'm so used to how life was when I'm still schooling , after school , back home . Dinner will be well prepared by mummy , & then family dinner .
I think , it's been months since I last sat down together with my family , for just a simple meal .
In the past , I'll always wished I could have more times to go out & enjoy .
But now , how I really truly wished , I could have more time for my family . ):
I still remembered how i was touched to tears , when my mummy reminded me that she will leave one bowl of soup for me after my work .
Whenever I'm home , there'll always be one bowl of hot soup , waiting for me . While my parents were fast asleep .
Before work , mummy always whipped up healthy & delicious food for me .
I asked her one time , why did you cook so much , I can't possibly finish it all up by myself .
She said , because I don't know what food you're eating outside , so I cooked more healthy food for you to fill up your stomach so you won't feel hungry .
It's fortunate , to know that , my parents have always been giving me the silence support whenever I needed .
The greatest wealth of one is to know that , you love them , & they love you back too. Isn't it true ?
I realized the weakness of life , you never know when your loved ones will leave you .
& when they're gone , it's all too late to regret & feel remorse over it . It can't turn the reality , though .

Enough of all these crappy stuff , but what I said , is all what I'm feeling now , deep felt emotions all whelming up in me .
Hah , I think it's time for a self-reflection for me .
I never had my own thinking , nor how I want to change for the better , for 2010 .
I just want the year to pass like a normal year .
But sometimes , the things you wished for , will never come true . Unless you put in your effort , & make it a real one. That should be the most rewarding gifts you ever had .
So , it's not too late for me to reflect on myself . Yes , kenglin , make the year of 2010 a happy one for you , make no regrets , make your life shine like a shining star .
Polished yourself , to be a better person . (:

Okay well , back to topic . It's my off day yesterday , it's already past 12 midnight when I post this .
So , orchard with none other than my lovely sister .
Fruitful shopping trip though . (:
Swensens for lunch , & I almost slipped and fall when I half hopped to the seat where the waitress lead to.
Luckily , my reaction was fast enough . Knowing that I'm gonna slip soon , I quickly rush to the seat , no , run , & plopped myself on it .
I think , i frightened the waitress , cos she was like aaaaaaah , be careful . & I heard sister shrieked behind me .
But once we settled down , we were laughing all the way . Embarassed like mad .
We got so much to say that we sat from 2 plus to 4 plus , which was like 2 hours there enjoying out food & chatting about how life been .
Mango aftermath , bought one tank top & 1 long sleeve checked shirt . Love at first sight . HAH ! Sister bought 2 tank tops .
Then , bought short & one polka dolt shirt @ Pull & Bear .
Another simple shirt @ ZARA . Like wheeeeeeets ~ it's been so long since I went for a shopping spree . Happy to the max ! :D
Went for a lookout for flats , because she wanted to buy . But in the end , none of the flats we saw caught her interest .
But , we got the same amount of things . 1 shorts & 4 shirts . :D
Dine in @ Xin Wang hong kong cafe . Laughed crazy cos I used some stupid phrases or words that make her laughed like mad .
Then , bused back home . Taking pictures with sister is a tough job , cos she will keep move around , if not , both our hair got holes . /:
& in the end she said she coming down to raffles on Sunday just to find me for dinner & to take more pictures . Like LOLS !
But I totally love the idea of it . :DD

Alright , it's time I should get some sleep . Time check : 3:28 AM .
Like wooooots , alright , reflection done , so yes , I felt much more lighter & calmer after all this declaration . Lols !

有时，失去并不是件坏事。
因为失去，才懂得珍惜。
最后，就不会再犯同样的错误。(: