10 years .

I can't fall asleep . ): sad , tomorrow's working morning shift , if I don't get my sleep now , tomorrow will be a worst day .

Caught Brilliante III yesterday with dearest & my darlings . (:
Woke up around 8plus & went down to lavender to renew my passport along with my mum .
Trained back to bedok , bought some food to ahma house . Left around 12 plus .
Reached home - prepared - meet dearest .
Trained to city hall , long john-ed & walked around .
Trained to tampines to meet darlings for dinner at Ajisen .
Cabbed to school & went to hall to wait for the start of the concert .
They said they rent air conditioner , like no use ? No difference without renting it anyway .
I can sleeep , like seriously . :s
End around 9 plus & home sweet home.

Today , slept till 11 plus but still don't feel like waking up .
Went down to pray . Emotions overwhelmed me . Like seriously , I feel like crying once I stepped out of the place .

I never saw my grandfather once , cos he passed way before since I was born .
So , I don't feel the bond there , I can only know him through my daddy .
However , the moment I saw my uncle , I then realized , it's been that long .
10 years , it's been 10 years since you left .
10 years ago , I'm just 6 . A little girl who knew nothing about life & death .

I still remembered , when I was young , every sat , I often pestered my daddy to bring me down to the west area just to find my uncle , aunt & cousins .
That time , cousins & I doesn't know how to cycle . I still remembered how he taught us one by one .
I still remembered , he hold onto the back of the bike & keep on telling me to peddle till he loosens his hand .
I still remembered , he'll always brought us to swensens for ice cream treats .
I still remembered we went to Indonesia once , where we had lots of funs .
I still remembered how often my brother & I will run to their house for a stayover .

10 years ago , it was a happy beginning to start with it .
It should end with a happy ending , yet it's not .
A trip to zoo , end up a trip to the hospital .
4 kids , sitting at the benches , waiting silently .
Adults , pacing up & down , whispering to each other .
Relatives slowly filed in , came by & gave encouragement .
I still remembered , how I hold on to my cousin hand , her expression gave it all out - fear .
Whereas , my little cousin , at the age of 3 , what did he know ? He doesn't even knows that his dad is leaving him .
He just sat there , innocently , looking at the people around him .
The last time I saw him alive , was that day when I took a last look at him , with needles & machines all over him .

10 years , time passed so fast that I didn't realized he's gone for 10 years .
If I didn't look back at our photo albums , if I didn't take a clear look of his picture today , I would definitely forgotten how he looked like .
I had my parents with me more than 10 years .
Yet , my cousins only had 7 years & 3 years respectively with their daddy .

Uncle , I missed you so much . ):