& once again, I knew the truth.

In the morning, when I'm preparing to go to school.
You came into my room, sat on my bed. & talked with me.
You asked all sorts of questions.
I sat on my chair, rummaging through my bag. & I find myself tearing.
I ignored all those questions, the answer was simple.
Its not that I dont want be like last time, but I just fall so deeply. Just like that.

You left the room, leaving me there.
& again, the last word you said was. You know how well we loves you.
I know ? Or, I dont know ? Because both of you never tells me how much you loves me, but its the scoldings that makes me think that I'm just so useless.

Those words in the morning, had such a great impact on me today.
I cant stop but to hold back my tears.
In the bus, in lessons. In everything, in front of my friends.
& yes, I cried again. During lessons, when everyone was doing their work.
I cant help it, but the naughty tears rolled down again.
So, whose fault is it in the end.
Its mine, cos' you indirectly pointed your fingers at me.
Thanks for so much, for the influence you got on me.
I cant pay attention now during lessons, cos' all the things that running in my mind.
Was just the harsh words, that both of you once used. Thankyou.


I cant stop, but finally break down in front of darlings.
I know very well, that they stood by me.
But, I chose to close my door on them, cos' I dont want to breakdown again.
& truly enough, I break down, once again.
Cos' I just cant help it again.

& I know, how well I'm going to go through all these.
I can no longer assure that, I'll be standing strong & firm.
I only know that, I'm so fragile right now that any moment. I could just break down.
Being strong, was such a tough option for me to choose.
So now, just let me like I wanted to be.

Thanks darlings, for the encouragement once again.
I'm feeling better now.