Smile ; Even when the life falls

Ninety-eight . ;D

2009-12-15T02:13:00.000-08:00

Edited //
back from my bath & dinner.
so, back to posting. let's rewind back to last sarurday.
was my mummy birthday , so went to parkway with family
to celebrate.
told them that I want to get an ipod touch, so went to get it. but still need to pay back my papa in 2 months time since I'm working.
went to this chao zhou chinese restaurant to celebrate , & the food is ohmygod terrible.
they said it was nice, but me & my brother were like, eeeee.
& the most terrible thing was that I dropped my chopsticks in front of the waiter. :/
finished with dinner & went shopping around.
but soon, both me & my brother felt hungry, so went to get an ice-cream to fill our stomach .
soon, home sweet home :)

Sunday , cousin engagement.
so, woke up at 8 plus & wash up everything and went down to fetch brother and his girlf for
breakfast.
reached the venue at around 12 plus & went around looking at the surrounding.
nice ambience, it was beautiful uh.
wait until all the people arrived, and the engagement ceremony started.
was the video camera that day, cos I had to take the video camera up the stage alone and film the whole
process.
the process was so touching when boh of them said the "I Do" & when I saw
my aunt trying to control back her tears .
finish with the ceremony including cutting of the cake, proceed to the buffet table for lunch.
finish with lunch , then went to the surrounding to take some pictures.
lasted for around 3 hours, & home sweet home.

15 dec , one word to describe today outing.
& it was FANTASTIC! ;D
awwww, starting to miss today outing.
oh oh , I'll cherish the gift alright! I will always wear it with me no matter where I am. :D
off to continue watching the channel 8 show now, omg! The designer is really so creative!
so envious of his talent in design and arts . it's like, he can come out with designs without looking at any reference .
bye readers! ;D

Just came back from today outing. ;D
post about it once I finish my bath .
Toodles~ (:

2009-12-01T23:23:00.001-08:00

Down with fever & cough for the last 3 days. :/
Was so sick that the strength to walk around seems difficult for me toooo.
Went to see the doctor in the morning , ate the medicine and fall asleep .
So , for the past few days its like , wake up . Eat , sleeep . Eat , sleeeeeep again.
Disgusted by sleeeping so many hours in one day.
& the coooooool point is that for the first time in my life I got 38.9 for my fever. Like , WOW !
so , had the ice bag on my head everytime I went to sleeep.

Supposed to go work today , but nah , mum said rest for 1 more day.
So , yupp . Stayed home , helped to do the housework and etc.
Feeeling bored . Outing sooooon , please . :DDDD
Coughing & coughing , but the phlegm just doesnt want to come out.
ohshutxs. whatever , off I go watching my FAMILY OUTING ! :DD

Its OVER ! :D

2009-11-12T20:52:00.001-08:00

Finally, the long awaiting of the end of O's came. :DD happy happy.
But seriously, I think I'll miss studying. :s
Whatever. So , after O's , stayed in school w/ Jocelyn for basketball .
After awhile , went back home & changed to go TM.
Bus-ed there , went in search for Popeye. LOLS. Spent 45 minutes searching the whole TM and TM1 cos we thought its there.
So , CS is not in our choice. Hungry , Jocelyn complaining. LOLS.
Went to the service counter for help ! So the staff said its at CS , we were like , wth .
Popeye was fully packed , business was goooooood . so , had to wait for awhile then we could find a place to sit .
Bought , eat & in search for nail polish & wallet .
Saw this wallet at TM , but indecisive . D: was supposed to buy a wallet , but in the end went back with nothing , just a nail polish & bubble tea . LOLS .

Its friday now . Yes , friday .
Life's so dull right now . Stayed at home , either sleep , eat , watch tv, read books or use computer .
But, its alright. Cos most of the time I spend my time sitting in front of the com & laughing my head off watching Family Outing .
Ohohoh , Hyori's hot . Chunheee cuteeee ! :D Daesung the dumber . Jaesuk the dumb. & & Jongkook the most pathetic , cos he's always got bullied by Hyori esp. But, its so funny seeing them togther , cos the Family had this scandal about the both of them.
Hilarious . So , off watching my Family Outing . :DD

New Look

2009-11-06T05:43:00.000-08:00

Finally , all those impt subjects are down .
Wheeeee ~ left with MCQ.
Okay, lets rant about Biology . Its damn , dontknow what to say .
Studied so xin ku about photosynthesis , transports in blood , flowering plants all other topics .
But none of it came out , which is like . Eh , trick us sia . :/
Still managed to do the paper , cause I just learnt all the topic. But focused more on the above topics .
Stuck in Structured Essay question , I think . siansxs.

Its alright. Going to depend on MCQ & practical , I suppose .
Anyway , went to Inter borrow boooooks . So long never read my Chinese Novel le . *happyhappy* :D
oh, watching my Hotshot late at night today. :D oooooooh , my SHOW LUO ! Cooool coooool . XD
talking about the show , its about basketball . & dontknowwhy, its beeeeeeen dont know how many months passed since I last touched on basketball .
I neeeeed , No . Its a I MUST get the feeling of touch back mansx. if not , those simple shooting I also can , air-ball le. LOLS ! JOCELYN ! BASKETBALL BASKETBALL ! :D

Decided to give my blog a new looook , tired to look for blogskins & etc.
Much more easier for me to handle also .
Mummy right now , talking to dont know which auntie through the phone & talked for the dont know how many minutes alr . Gossiper ! blaaaablaaaaablaaaaaas. Noisy MOMMAA !
Tomorrow Packing Day for me . Why ? Because due to the intensive programmes, school been giving tons of worksheet , which I have no time to clear & had to chuck everywhere . :x
So , its time to clear all those RUBBISH out of my table . & those w/s , where it goes to . heh , give to cousin lo . He will hate me to the max point , that he wont even talks to me. Sorrrreh .

Tired . Yeeeees , so freaking tired .
Havent been getting my sleep recently . Stayed up late to study those stupid things , and again either wake up early to study again . Or , for tuition .
Its okay. Cause , its over alr ! :D
Bloodshot eyes right now , due to contact . Again . Due to dry eyes , I suppose .
Oh , off to play some FB games first. Toooooodles. :D

Back to friends , can we ?

2009-09-19T04:49:00.000-07:00

Gotten back results alr . Like , damn siansx.
Got study also get back this kind of results. :/ suan le suan le . LOLS !
L1B4 - 20 . So unexpected . But , nevermind one ah .
Still left around 1 month to Os , & just chiong for this last lap . :]

Lets not talk about results. Finally , going to finish up all 8 boards .
Spent like dont know how many hours in the art room spraying the sketches onto the boards.
Damn tiring . :s
Like, finally . going to submit all the 8 boards to Mr M. on tuesday .
& after that , can finally relieve the stress alr. :D

PE for yesterday was Badminton. Tiring . Play until , the whole face turned red . ( thats what all my friend say la ) LOLS !
Double team at first . Ivy with Jaclyn . Mich & me .
& then after awhile , switch partner . Ivy with Mich . Jaclyn & me .
Then , played single against Ivy . Tiring but fun . :]
In the end , arm muscle cramp . LOLS .

Gastric pain for the last few days , I think I should better take note of my health .
Supposed to go see doctor , but in the end . Gave up the idea .
LOLS. Cos , I dont feel like going alr . :/ HAH !
But , of course , I will start to eat alr la . Wont skip meals . :]

Saturday Study Programme , supposed to reach at 8. Cos , this is what our form teacher want us to reach there earlier .
But , due to my laziness . I slept until 7:15 and reluctantly got out of the bed to brush up & get ready.
Ate breakfast , was damn full after eating 1 slice of cake and drinking 1 cup of Milo . :s feel so sick .
Left house & off I go to school .
English at hall . & then went class to spray up my remaining boards .
Lunch-ed with Jocelyn at Bedok Mac since Rowena left early.
Library , went there to enjoy the aircon while that girl choosing her books .
In the end , she took around 10 to 15 minutes to choose 1 book. :/ mygod .
Home sweet home after that . & was wondering if I should get a haircut. Cos , its long alr .
Took a nap with my contact lens on , although I was afraid that the contact lens will stuck in there . LOLS !
Woke up , had a bath and felt more refresh .
Maybe going out with Mum to tm tomorrow to get presents for that 2 Darling of mine ( delayed Jocelyn present for quite a time alr ) Sorry Jocelyn !

Nothing much to blog about alr . Going to play my facebook game now. Heh .
Someone right now at Malacca enjoying himself by indulging himself with all the food there . *jealous*
Ah, tonight must hug my bolster tight tight alr . :D

Thursday & Friday , the best day given .

2009-09-10T02:13:00.000-07:00

Torture . Sept holidays , spent in school with all my art prep works. *faint*
Last day of art tomorrow , still thinking that like finally can go home early at around 12 plus.
& then , I realize that there's Bio remedial until 3 .
As well let me stay in school do art sua . *cries*

Anyway , on the process of completing my boards asap.
Aaaah , I feel like giving up alr . seriously , the moment I see my art or boards , the first thinking is 'wah , siansx'
How to complete with this mindset. :x suan le suan le .
At least got do also can la .
But but , Monday is the Art Exhibition for Os alr.
How how , need to show to the P & VP . *cries even worse*
Aiya , suan le la suan le . 走一步，算一步。

Ohwheeee , its my cousin Birthday today .
HAPPY BIRTHDAY , JIE JIE ! :D
Celebrating for her on coming Saturday .
& then , cousins coming over & stay overnight . :D coooooool ! Chatting time again.
Off I go to find research on my Art again .
Wish me luck . LOLS .

2009-09-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

Shopping at Orchard yesterday . With family & along with Aunt & cousins .
Orchard Central / Centre , I forgot . Went there, & all the adults were like looking at the food.
Chat with cousins , arm-locked with her & went walking around . :D
So, walked from one mall to another mall . & continue walking .
Finally, settled at Ion . :x walked around . Look at the chef cooking foood. LOLS .
Then , finally ate for dinner .
Orchard really got nothing much that interest me leh , only movies. :x
In the end , finally home sweeeet home . With my sore aching legs, due to that stupid pair of heels. *cries*

Today , woke up like so damn freaking early. Just to go JOGGING .
See, I'm so healthy . Living in a healthy lifestyle . LOLS !
After running , bought the ingredients for doing cookies. :D
So , will be doing cookies later. :D
Oh, & I'm hungry . But , I'm still waiting for my lunch to be cook . :x

2009-09-05T06:17:00.000-07:00

Oh, how long did I not post alr. *count count *
So, I've been neglecting my blog & those tags which all belonged to that Rowena L. :x
LOLS. Finally, PRELIM had finally ended.
But, instinct tell me that I will definitely flunk all papers this time round. *CLAPCLAP*
So, I'm mentally prepared to receive my bad results alr.

Back to topic, actually. I got no intend to update my blog one leh. :x
because of that big oink oink, got no choice. *cries*
still request to blog a LONG post. Like, helloooooo, big idiot, how long do you want my post to be ? :D
3 pages long ? Or minimum 1000 words ?

LOLS. & big idiot is really a big BULLY. *sobsob*

1 personality about Big Idiot :

He got a real big appetite, which I cannot fight against him. :x

& everytime, dont know like 1 or 2 hours passed. He will come complain & say : I'm hungry . *gasp*

I SALUTE him for that mansx. LOLS. How can a person eat so much leh ? *wonders*

ohyeah, lets talk about PRELIM practical.
I studied about the different tests to test for food .
& when I'm doing my Bio practical paper. I totally forgot to boil the test-tube to test for reducing sugars.
So, when I'm almost done. I turn around, & friends were still doing.
& then, I noticed why are they boiling the test-tube for ? The instructions did not say that we're required to boil it what .
So, check my answer if there's anything wrong. Then I realised I did not boil my test-tube to test for reducing sugars. ( when other people were like boiling ) :x
So, redo again . Boiled . Sit down there, waiting for the colour to change.
Ms Sew, is like *pointing to the goggles* ( which, I dont want to wear in the first place )
& wear for what eh . I'm one big step away from the table . :x
She, continue pointing. So, in the end, wore it uh .
Damn warm uh . While waiting for the test to end , nothing to do right .
Wipe the table clean clean for them, wash all the apparatus. Putting back to their original positions , making it so neat . LOLS .

Is the post long enough for you ? *smile*
My 1 week holiday, all gone. )':
Tuesday to Friday, back to school for art .
& Bio lesson on friday tooooo. Ah, siansx.

Tomorrow outing w/ Family to Ion . :D
I want buy lots and lots of things. :x provided if I can find . LOLS.
Anyway, big idiot . :] I think , it should sastify you, right ?
If not , I think I can faint alr. :s

Toooodles , update next time round. (:

I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

Blanked.

2009-08-21T02:59:00.000-07:00

SS paper was a total disastrous.
Forgot the points for the Fall of Venice, how great.
Maths, manageable.
But one problem is that, it seems that I'll fall asleep doing maths paper. :/
After school, Dad called & asked if I end school alr.
Because he still owed me something, my reward.
So, he asked if want to have lunch tgt.
Sadly, got this english thing & also having tuition.
So, )': He still owed me one.
Nvm, anyway, it seems that oral is getting harder & harder.
Aaaaaah, why can't english be like chinese. T.T

Anyway, going back to school tmr morning to have an oral session with Mrs tan.
Right now, I suddenly have a craving for sub-way, honey milk tea & also, jogging.
Hah, should I go for a jog this sunday with daddy at ECP ?
Aaaaah, I just wanna have my subway ! :x

:D

2009-08-19T03:22:00.000-07:00

Release of O level Chinese results.
& gladly, I cried tears of joy. (:
Dont want to tell people my results, because some might think that I'm just boasting on it.
So, just want to thanks the hugs & congratulations given by my friends.
Esp my 2 darlings. :D thank you. The repeated hugs & etc, touched.
Also, thanks to Mich, Atika especially ( who kept comforting me before I took my results ), & Nazri & also to 4e5 for congratulating me.

Although one subject is done, although the results for my chinese was good.
But it doesnt means that for my other results, I will get the same.
I'll not get proud of it, so I'll work even harder so that next year, I will cry tears of joy again. :D
& to those who's disappointed in their results.
Jiayou oh, dont give up so easily.
Because, you never know that you will succeed in it again.
Dont because of one setback & hold you back in whatever you doing.
So, JIAYOU oh. I'll support all of you ! :)

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. -Booker T. Washington

Facts about life.

2009-08-14T03:07:00.000-07:00

You haven't lost your smile at all, it's right under your nose. You just forgot it was there.

If, this was to applied to me. How I wish, it was true.
With all this pretence on me, I feel so emotionally tired.
A smile, doesnt means that I'm happy with my life.
A shed of tear, doesnt means that I'm unhappy with my life.

Yes, I got tons of troubles bottling up in me.
But, I dont want to share it all out.
Dont ask me why I'm moody.
Dont ask me why I'm behaving this way.
For once, I just want to be myself.
I have the rights, to choose what I want to do in my life.
Dont even bother asking me whats happening.
If I want to say, I'll say.

For once, I just want all Bastards to disappear right in front of me.
A lesson / fact that I learnt so far : You never know what lies in a person, until you knew the truth.

Yes, I finally knew the truth.
& thanks for letting me know.
Bastards, how I wish all of you can disappear right in front of me.
Your presence, makes me feel so damn freaking disgusted.
Bastards, you have no rights to judge me for who I am.
Bastards, how I hope you will not have an easy life in the future.

But also, thanks Rowena & Jocelyn for being with me .
All this while, thanks for letting me crying out comfortably in front of you girls.
Thanks for the hug when I needed one,
thanks for the encouragement given,
those stupid jokes that made to cheer me up.
I never forget these, truly. Thanks. :]
16 years of life, I learnt the cruelity of life.
But, there's something that always give me much joy.
&, thats Both of YOU! :]
Sry, but I cant stop crying right now.
Because, memories of stuff that we did together, came playing in my mind.
Just 3 words, I love you. :P

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend.

& this, is what I wanted to say.
But never had the chance to say infront of you girls.

Jocelyn ah jocelyn, Jiayou oh.
not only in studies, r/s or family matters.
But, also in all things that you want to achieve in your life.
Dont make the wrong decisions that will made you regret again.
I just want you to know, thanks for being there.
there's an attraction force b/w us, that never separates.
PRELIMs coming, & sooon O's.
Dont give up so early, you can do it de. Okay ?
You have been improving, dont always so negative-minded.
Things might turn out differently. :]
Lastly, all the best. & ILY <3!

Rowena ah rowena, nothing to say to you leh. :DD
Okay lah, tomorrow is finally your POP.
& happy to know that, you've gotten the highest rank.
I'm of course proud of you luh. Next time, call you Ma'am Rowena. :DD
Hah, ohyeah. You still owed me a Polar Bear Hug.
I've been pestering like dont know how long, but you die die dont want give me. D:
Darling ah, you also ah. Must jiayou in your studies.
Although I know you've been studying alot uh.
You ah, dont so crazy le.
Must wen rou yi dian ma, later guys see le run away.
Then they ask themselves : Why this girl so crazy ? Is it never eat medicine. :D
But, I just like the crazy side of yours.
If not, why will I always be so happy beside you.
You got this cheerfulness that will go around spreading to others.
Thanks for everything you done, ILY tooooo. <3!

Girls, I'm not good in expressing words nor in actions.
But, I just want to say.
This friendship of ours, will never be broken. :)
& girls, I really really do love you loads.

Get Well Soooooon. :D

2009-08-06T04:46:00.000-07:00

Darling ah darling, please get well soon oh.
You know so much things happen when you're not around me. )':
Anyway, I feel so wierd when you're not right beside me.
During history & bio lesson, you wasn't sitting beside me.
During recess, you did not came in to my class & crap about stuff.
For one whole day, I didnt scold you Bitch, or I HATE YOU stuff like that.
It feeeels so wierd.
You're not there to listen to my complains.

& & Darling, please please get well soooooon.
Because, I really hope that you can go to Sentosa this saturday.
Because, its been so long since we last had a real fun. Right ?
Drink more water, okay ?

& I hope to see you sooooon.
Saturday, I really hope that you can come.
But, if you're still feeling unwell. Forget it, okay ?
We will go again, another time. :)

LOVES!

You SUCKS.

2009-07-17T01:23:00.000-07:00

Its been soooo long since I last update.
& I nearly forgotten my password. :S
I'm here to rant. Yes, RANT !
So much unhappy stuff, today's the worst.

Ohgreat, I failed my Maths common test.
So ? I dont give a damn, because its the stupid distance & the speed time graph that make me did so badly.
& yes, I know my mistakes. So, I know where I should buck up on.
I know I'm the last in the class for this test. But that doesnt means that you can use it to come say me. Right ?
& you this irritating bastard, how I wish I can slap your face right at that time.
I'm asking a question, from Jeremy, whose sitting beside me.
You, directly behind me. ( Although I wish that I can sit somewhere far you ) interrupt when I'm asking a question & make fun of me & said : ''Aiyo, first time you fail until so jialat. You lousy la. "
You interrupt my thoughts, & made me forgot what I wanted to ask.
& I had to repeat the question again & you interrupt again.
Mr H, I didnt know that you need that much of attention.
I've been tolerating this few days, ohgreat bastard. You lose face, infront of the teacher and your friends.
I just simply shouted this : Can you please shut up, you're so annoying & noisy. So RUDE. Dont interrupt can.
Although I wish that I could add some vulgarites, but I couldnt.
Silence. I feel so happy mansx, I was like. *CLAAAAPS! KENGLIN, BRAVO!*
You said this : Oh, she's angry.
LOLS ! Well, I'm not angry. I'm ANNOYED.
Can you even imagine, having such a thick-skinned guy from your class, who sits nears you & always saying how clever, how talented, how professor he is ?
He looks down on people, when he knew that his friends, or the people around him comes from a quite good primary school. & joined BGSS.
That bastard, doesnt even know where he exactly stand.
& hey, so what if I come from temasek pri ? So what I entered BGSS.
At least, I'm not like him going around boasting that I'm sooooo clever, talented & a professor.
Go, eat shit. Mr H. (:
If you, Mr H. Is so clever, talented & such a professor.
Why you joined BGSS ? & even entered 4E5.
You should be somewhere in a talented school.
Or even, you could skip your O level & take your A level.
Or, at least. You should be studying in Raffles .
Oooooh, I think you're none of the above. Thats why, even if you wants to study in Raffles. The Principal doesnt even want you to be there.
Why, because Mr H just cant stop shaking his body every minute.
His body, or even all his limbs seems to be so loose that cant stop swinging to and fro.
I pity you, for that.

If you think, you're a person who got trend. Sorry, Mr H. You're not.
Wearing the formal shirt for Be Yourself Day.
I tell you, you've disgraced those guys out there wearing formal shirt.

Oh, I'll never ever get pissed because of you.
I'll never ever waste my time going around complaining what you did to my friends, which is a waste of my saliva.
I'll never ever want to sit near you. I'll shoo away from you during maths lesson. ( Because I dont want to get a disease : Boastful disease )
I'll never ever will let myself to dampen my own mood just of you blabbering your bastard language which caused myself not to enjoy my day.
I'll never ever want to see you.
I'll never ever want to hear your name.
I'll never ever want to hear him talk, with that eeeeee voice.
If I see him, I'll defintely go wash my eyes.
If I touch his belongings, I'll wash my face.
If I hear his voice, I'll go home and dig my ears out.
Because, I dont want some stupid germs on me.
I'll wish you die, but sadly. You cant.
Because, you still havent know how to live your life, properly.

Thank you, Mr H.
For letting me know what a Bastard you are.
You're a big ****ing, irritating & no brain person I ever met.

----------------------The End------------------------

Ohgawd, after typing these out. I felt more more better.
I've been thinking about how irritating he is since I met him, when I'm on my way home.
& he shows so much weaknesses.
Seeker-attention, being boastful, proud. Awwww, I feeeel sooooo sad for him.
For, he dont have a life worthy for himself to live.
HAHA! I just cant stop laughing to myself when I typed out all these.
&, I'll not complaint. But, explain to my parents about him.
I think they feel the same way as me. Even used how many medicines to cure him, also no use le la. Hor ?
Beyond cure already. Because, he's already in the process of last stage. :D
No more mentioning of him.

There's study session with R. tomorrow. :DD
So many homework to be done.
Oh, & I got to start doing the things for that nice darling of mine & buying materials.
Find a day shopping with parents. I'll miss family outing. )':
Actually, tomorrow's having a family outing. )':
But sadly, that lame dad of mine. Didnt inform me earlier, & I planned to go study already.
So, miss it.
& there's really a lame conver. between my dad & me last night.
-Halfway through a show, came in & sat beside me-
Dad : eh, Saturday go Orchard. We go SHOPPING!
Me : huuuuuh, I saturday going study with Rowena leh. You la, dont say earlier.
Dad : aiyah, how I know la. Thought you free.
Me : Go with mummy. go dating lor. :D
Dad : dont want la. i dont want friend her already, she dont want care me.
Me :dont crazy la. go with her la. Shenjingbing leh ni. *give the stupid face*

Hah, I think I inherited most of my dad character genes.
Because I'll always say this to R. : I dont want friend you le la, you dont want care me le. )':
LOLS. I know, very lame la. But, its my character. Or, our character. :D
Anyway, off I go to find my beloved SS501 pictures.
JUNGMIN ! <33.

Nightmares.

2009-06-23T01:59:00.000-07:00

Oh, like finally I updated on my blog.
But, maybe its my last tooooo. D:
Firstly, I think I really need to stop using the computer & watching shows.
Because, all these can be done after O.
Secondly, left a few months to O, & I still can slack around doing nothing. -.-
& so, I decided. After holiday, I'll try to stop the temptations around me.
Booooooo.
Anyway, I also have no idea what should I post about.
But, just recently, having nightmares all the night.
Its so scary, & thinking about it makes me go, ohmfg.
Goosebumps. ! *screams*

Off to go watch video. D: HAHAH!
IloveSS501! :DD
&&, my mum just cut her hand when she's chopping something.
Gross, I saw the bloood keep flowing out of her hand. eeeeeeew.
But luckily dad was at home, so he helped to clean the wound.
Ouch, she didnt even cry. & there I go thinking, if it happens to me, I will go dizzy once I see the blood, if not, shouting for help. LOLS!

Toooodles. :D

Dramatic change.

2009-06-11T01:21:00.001-07:00

Finished burning the videos & pictures from my com to a disc for cousin.
Like finally. D: LOLS !
Unsure if today will be a long post or what, but I think it will be quite long ba. :/
Back to track, last week dont know what day.
After lesson, went Rowena house. Because she wanted to cook one meal for me. :DD
& coooool , reached her house, then started.
See her prepare everything, like so TOUCHED mansx. :P
I was over there, oooooh, so sweeeeeet. LOLS.
Finished, then ate the noodle. Rating ah, 5/5. :DD
Really very nice eh. XD Still got more meals waiting for me. Hehh.
Then, went her room. Was so funny that I cant stop laughing.
Because, she put something over her bear. Like, afraid that her bear would get cold like that.
Started laughing, all the way.
Then walked home after that, since its just a few blocks away. :D

This was our NOODLE.

This week, same lesson all the way. Like, sian.
Especially for Bio. D: So boring.
One of the lesson for bio was to do the genes bla shit.
Due to boredom, used the material to make into a ring. :DD
I know la, its lame. But, nothing to do what.

This was the ring I make. :DD

Then art programme, do coursework.
Mich used my phone to zilian. LOLS. See below. :D

Mich smiling to all of you. :D

& finally, June holiday programme was over.
Can PARTY. But sadly, so many h/w waiting for me to be done. .___. So saaad.
Anyway, its over already. Haaa.
Last Saturday, went over to cousin 21 years old Birthday Party.
I was the camera woman la, because was busy taking videos & pictures.
Eat, chat, slacked.
Picture speaks everything. :D

This is my cousin, WanLin. :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

The cake. :D Cooool right.

Family Picture, ooooh. & I saw my future sis-in-law in it.
Neh, that girl standing between my dad & brother. :D

COUSINS! with my future da sao again la. :D

& lastly, the 3 families together. :DD

I just simply love this picture, because, its so perfect.
Perfect in the way that, all members of the family is in there.
So seldom that we took a family photo together. Cooooool~ :P
Anyway, I got one future da sao in it, also a future brother in it.
Both people, all in the picture.
15 people in it wor. So, 爽。
Because, my Da Jie Jie going to get married soooon.
Latest by next Jan. :D Then means, New year got one more Ang Bao. LOLS!
Thats my brother said one, not me, okay.
Later you people think I money face. =.=

Oh great, SS501 coming to Singapore for their 1st Asia Concert.
Asked mummy yesterday night if I could go, since its already after O level.
& I will used my own money to pay the ticket, so she said yes. :DDDDDD
So yipee yay yay ! :D Their songs actually quite nice leh.
Ohohoh, cant wait for Dec to come. :D
So now, is to find someone whose willing to go to the concert with me. :D

Actually planned to go Parkway today with friends or what.
But, due to I didnt go around msging people, asking if they free.
So, in the end I stayed at home.
Maybe next monday or next week then go ba.
Anyway, father's day is coming. Fretting over what to buy for my dad. D:
Any ideas, eh ?

Yesterday night, tossed around the bed until 1 plus and finally went to sleep.
Was thinking over the same thing that had been troubling over me for the past few days.
Sadly, I needed someone to talk to.
Everything's piling up in me, but I got no one to turn to last night.
Darling, asleep.
Who else can I find ?
Went down my contact list, really got no idea who to call.
Even if I call, I might be disturbing them.
So, in the end. Forced myself to go back to sleep.
Darling going for her NPCC camp tomorrow till Sunday.
I wonder, within this period of time, who can I really turn to. )':

I dont know what revenge you really wanted.

What I know was only, you're being selfish. To her, & to yourself.

She was there for you, when you was at your lowest point of time.

It was her, who gave you all the encouragements, being there for you.

But, because if one small thing, you decide to spoil the friendship b/w you both.

& all in your mind, was to have revenge & to settle the thing asap.

Dont you know that, she's upset because both of you is no longer friends.

What she really wanted, was just a friendship.

When she showed me all the messages, the heart sank.

Yes, It sank. Completely.

Yes, she was right. She got her own life, she got her rights whether to tell me the truth or not.

What's wrong telling me all that?

Its not like she or you did something wrong that couldnt tell me right?

& yet, you treated her that way. I dont know what happen to you, but you becaome the one that I no longer know.

Yes, I should stop blabbering all about this.

What I want to know it, isnt there any solution to resolve the things anymore?

Is what revenge you really wanted?

If it is so, go ahead. Get your revenge & settle your things asap.

If that will make you more happy instead.

Yes, I dont know what's the defination for friendship.

So much things happened lately, including the things around me.

I wont ever, ever, ever fall for you.

If this, still cant wake you up. I really dont know what to expect more from you.
You're not the one I knew anymore.

& as always, I always think that friends should help each other.
But yet, when a friend fall apart just because A thinks that B is pissing A off.
& A starts to avoid B.
What kind of friendship is this, actually.
Right now, I pity B. Not because of this, but because B lose a friendship.
Great, you make me want to lose this friendship with you.
Thankyousomuch.

If a friendship is so vulnerable to break,

then I choose not to have any friendship with you.

Cos' you giving me the impression,

that a friendship worth nothing to you.

I'm feeling so down, right now.

2009-06-02T23:58:00.000-07:00

Mock Practical yesterday.
Ehehehe. I did something so SWEEEEET to Darling.
The owner of this blog, wake up at 6 plus, specially to send a GOOD LUCK msg to Darling. :DD
But sadly, this ROWENA L. wont cry one sia.
Finished sending the msg & after reading her reply, I quickly went back to my lala-land. :P
Woke up again at 9 plus, prepared. & left home.
Surrendered phone, & waited. Blashit.
Okay, Jaclyn had to help me on my bunsen burner first, & both of us got nagged at.
Whatever shit. Asssss.
Flunk the paper, because I all dont understand. D:
&& Darling waited for me for 1 hour. So XIN FU ! :D :D :D :D :D :D
LOLS ! Went inter, to pay Darling library fine.
After that, went Long John for lunch.
Laughed throughout the meal, because stupid things keep happening.
& we got to say : Pretend you see nothing. LOLS !
After that, something hilarious happened. Walked out of lj busy laughing.
Then saw Shengwei & Jason. Their face was so hilarious, especially Shengwei one.
Laughed throughout again. :D
& we dont know said 'Gay' for how many times.
Because, we keep seeing guys with wierd hairstyles, & the clothes they wearing.
Bus-ed back home. :D

Starting of the June holiday lessons.
First day, late already. But, its the bus came late.
Waited from 7:30 to 7:45, then come the bus. Shitholes.
Lessons as usual, Rowena Darling start whining when she saw her name for the POA afternoon lessons, & its her "favourite" teacher to teach her somemore. :D
Accompanied her from 1 to 2. & went home.
Haha, Darling now should be still listening to the teacher voice.
Wonder if she's sleeping or going to fall asleep or still awake. :DD
HAHA! DARLING, JIAYOU ohhh ! XD

I love my Darling ! :DD
She's such a nice person.
Oh, & she says she's gonna cook 2 meals for me.
SOOOOOOO TOUCHED ! T.T
Heh, waiting for the day to come to come. :P
ROWENA L. ! WHY TIMES ALWAYS PASS SO FAST WHEN I'M W/ YOU ?
Booooooooooooooo ! ^^
I want an outing with her soooooon. :DDDDDD

Oh, & I'm so fcuking pissed off now.

Who are you to keep questioning me like that.

I find it, FREAKING, FUCKING, PISSED! IRRITATED!

JUST GO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

DAMNHELLYOUPEOPLE.SHITASS!

GOBANGWALLCAN!

SO MANY COMMENTS, THEN GO COMMENTS ON OTHER PEOPLE.

LAZY TO BOTHER WITH YOU PEOPLE.

BE MORE MATURE CAN, ACT LIKE A GROWN UP.

YOU THINK YOU STILL YOUNG?!

SO LAME. SO BTH. SO ANNOYING.

Oh, phew. Feel much more better now.

Tomorrow then complain to Darling. I bet she also screamed out her lungs. :DD

Not going to waste more of my energy on those immature people.

Hey, get a life ? If not, get a brain.

I think, even dog is much more clever than you. :]

Its OVER ! :D

2009-06-01T02:42:00.000-07:00

Finally, chinese O level has ended. Yes, wheeeee ~
Eh, no idea. But practically, find the paper quite okay.
Only when they request to 自由发挥, I think I totally write crapsx. :/ Whatever.
I already aiming for a A. If I got B3, hehehe. Off you see me retaking the paper again.
Whatever la, I dont know what to comment also.
Wait until the results come out then see how ba.

Oh, & one hilarious thing happen to ROWENA L. today.
During the break, waiting for the paper 2 to start.
She was running towards me, & then. She nearly FALL.
I think the floor was slippery la, the expression she got on the face was so HILARIOUS that I just cant stop laughing.
Then there she goes : Got people see not. Wabiang, very ps eh. :DD
I was like, HAHAHAHAHA! *ROFL*
Its really damn hilarious laaaduh.
Even when I'm doing my paper 2, when I think of the scene she nearly falls & the expression she got on her face. I cant stop myself from laughing. But, I did control la. Later teacher thinks I cheat. :/

Went Mac for lunch none other than Darling.
We got to Scissors, Paper, Stone to decide who go & buy the meal.
In the end, I lost. WHATEVER!
Funny conversation, cant stop laughing when I'm with this clumsy girl !
Library, borrowed books.
Rowena Darling is so ........ I dont know what to say.
The books that I choose for her, she just said this : This book dont appeal to me. =.=
& then, she choose book also must choose if the book cover is hard or soft.
But, its still a book. Right, Darling ?
In the end, she still cant borrow. Because, she still havent paid her loan. :DD Laughs!
Went home after that, I love sitting bus rides with her.
Because, we will have non-ending conversations.

Mum asked me how's my test.
Told her, & also told her & demonstrate how Rowena L. nearly fall infront of me.
My mum laughed also. See see, darling. Your clumsiness makes my mum laugh at YOU !
BOOOOOOO ~! :P
I told my mum about this specific person, & she starts shaking her head with diapproval.
LOLS ! Darling, tomorrow then tell you the secret. :DD
Gossip time tomorrow again !

Ohgreat, tomorrow's Mock Practical.
But, I cant even open the bunsen burner, & they wants me to do the whole experiment by myself.
Disgusting. Oh, I'm gonna die tomorrow. HAHAHAHA!
I'm in shift 3 ! Dont need so early wake up & stay there till 1:30.
Darling, 委屈你了。哈哈，明天见哦！:DD

I realised it, too late.

2009-05-30T04:09:00.000-07:00

I dont know what happened to me lately.
My left leg muscles were killing me a few days back.
Every step I took, it seems like, there's a sting in it.
I cant stretch my leg, afraid that I might get a leg cramp immediately.
& yesterday, my right knee cap hurts.
Yes , it hurts that bad.
It hurts already when I just reached home.
I dont know is it because of the air con in the Expo that strong or what.
but it just hurts. )':
The moment when I finished my bath, about to step out of the room.
the knee hurts.
I cant even lift up my right knee, moreover can I stand with my right leg on.
I got to stand on the same spot, holding on to the door.
Even if I walk, I got to limp.
Its time to take good care of my old injury, isnt it ? )':

One week of MT intensive is over. Yes, finally over.
Its not that not useful la, but just that. Towards the end, drop dead sleeping.
I cant stand facing the chinese paper again & again.

Meet the parents session on thursday.
Waited for mum to come, toured around the school with Joshua & Mich.
Di-siao Mich. Heh, cannot say the details out here even I want to.
Because Mich will come kill me. :X
Then, came to my turn. Mrs Quek talked, Ms Lim write notes.
Mum listened, & me , smiling to the three ladies.
LOLS ! They started crapping about my results.
Anyway, I'm satisfied with my results la. :DD
Went home after that, she was nagging about my science results. :/

Friday, went Expo to study MT.
Studied till 4 plus, & started to chat and talked about many many things.
Went home after that, & we saw a DORAEMON car.
Pictures below, I was like. OMFG! Can I go steal the car ? D:

Today, went Expo to study MT again.
Planned to go Airport to have Popeye for lunch.
But, till to that we watched the news last night.
We suddenly thought of the H1N1 flu, so decided to change back to Expo.
Subway for Lunch, & went to study.
Saw Clive, so studied together. & around 4 plus, he left for his service & we continued with our work.
Left for home around 5 plus.
I simply just love my lovely darling ; Rowena L.
Heh, she just so nice to talk to.
So fun to play with. :DD
Both of us have the chemistry. Think of the same thing, talk at the same time with the same words.
12 years of friendship, & I believed that it will last for ever. :D
Darling, thanks for so much.
& for always encouraging & motivating me to do better.
I think, its my honour for knowing this friend since nursery.
ROWENA L. Thank you so much, I LOVE YOU ! :DD

The stupid fucking noise is making me going bonkers !
How can they make the road when its already at night.
Cant they be more considerate ? Fucking ass.
CAN YOU JUST STOP DRILLING THE ROAD ANYMORE ! __

Ohyeah, I suddenly remembered something.
To the person who fake my name on that tag, I dont know should I be angry or not ?
But, I think that. It's a waste of my energy to be angry with you.
Pathetic ? Quite true, get a life.
But, if you want continue faking my name as what you did.
Please do so . :] I will welcome it.
You know why ? Because, I think. I should do some charity laaaa.
I just pity on you, that's it.
Do something which is worthy for you, but not this.
Because, the way you do this.
You're just showing me, how low you are. Enjoy reading, yo ! :DD

Tag Replies :
Tinghui : Relink you sooooon. :D

Weilin : Eh, yo ? You're the guy one right ? &, I'm not your brother, ass. You this sister !

Rowena : Hah, thanks Darling. I agree w/ you too, they should get a life. :DD

This is the DORAEMON CAR I saw. Coooool right ?

Seeee~ even the toys inside is all about DO-RAE-MON ! :DD

The Coffee Bean Drinks we've been drinking for the past 2 days.

& lastly, US ! :D

Screw MYE papers !

2009-05-14T00:24:00.001-07:00

SCREWTHOSEDAMNHELLPAPERS!

Got back papers already. But, I'm feeling so...... uncontented.
Chinese paper first. wow, nothing else to say. 58%.
I can say that the teacher who marked the paper is so, CRUEL! .
For the first time, I got myself a c5 for my mother tongue. *claps*
Cried. such a disappointment.
Bio next. Hah, I'm very proud of my results leeeey.
29.4%. Cool right, but I'm not the lowest in my class. Plus, I dont even care.
Firstly, that paper was damn hard. Stucked at the first few questions already.
I can go around telling people my marks, laughing. Yes, my classmates taking physics think I'm mad. LOLS!
& Ms Yong went crapping with me. Whatever she said, I just yeah yeah.. papaya! :DD
SS gotten back. 31/50. Okay la, but still. Why my essay never hit 10. Both get 9 leeeh.
Stupid Azahar. When going to take the paper from him, I said : where's your wife uh. *grins*
English, like the guys were going to pick a fight with Mrs Tan. Hilarious.
Maths, overall 58%. c5 again. so many 5, can as well tell me go hi-5 with other people sua.
Asssss.
Do corrections, & found out so many careless mistake. T.T
I was whining to Jeremy. & there I goes, saying I want cry already.
He said, cry lor cry lo.
When I looked at him, tears rolling down. Emotional breakdown.
But, I'm laughing while crying. Firstly, looking at the stupid careless mistakes. My heart was like, broken into pieces. Stab a knife into my heart, please.
But, Daryl, Cheuk Hin & Jeremy keep doing stupid things which made me laughed until, I dont know if I'm crying or laughing.
Daryl, sing the songka song for me. I also dont know why. That bear.
Cheuk Hin, was saying some stupid things.
This is what he said ah.
1-5 marks : cry.
6-10 marks : bang wall.
11-15 marks : slash wrist
16-20 marks : jump down / commit suicide. *stares at him*
& just soon when he finished saying, Ms Koh just said this.
"Cheuk Hin, get out. The corridor needs you. Somemore, today you spike hair right, good eh. Can attract some attention from other people. Go OUT !. "
Damn hilarious, when he walking his way out, he told the teacher saying that he's innocent bla shit, & trying to comfort me. *GRINS*
Continue do corrections, & found a few more careless mistakes.
Cried again. Jeremy was like, oooi, dont cry ley. If you cry over this few marks, then Joshua do what eh. He lose more marks than you eh.
Why did he say that ? Because, Joshua flunk his Maths paper.
Daryl started with a very idiotic coversation.
Daryl : Kenglin kenglin, dont cry already la. first time see people lose marks cry over it sia.
Me : of course la, so heartbroken leh. this marks can push the results up one leh.
Daryl : ehs, your da yi ma come is it ? so emotional.
Me : *stares* NO LA! You crazy ah, havent come la. asshole.
Jeremy : woah, you never come da yi ma already like that le sia.
Jeremy & Daryl : then if you come da yi ma, then more worst sia.
& they started laughing. Ms Koh sent them some stares. LOLS!
Chemistry, was really a utter disappointment.
Chem paper actually was quite easy, but yet . I dont know why, I failed.
38/85. Seriously, I got no clue.
I put in so much effort, but again. Careless mistakes found.
Didnt balance my equations, because, I dont have enough time to do it .
& I think, I need more understanding in what the question is asking me about.
So, breakdown again. This time, a real emotional breakdown.
But, its fine already.
Firstly, I know that even if I didnt do well, but I gave all my effort in it. I did my best already.
Next, yes. I should do even better for my Prelims.
Oh, & Art. I dont know what to say. 71/100.
I dont know if its a good mark ? Because, almost everyone gotten a scoldings.

Gosh, left with english & history.
Anyway, feeling much more better.
This 2 days, really. Was such a dramatic day. I think, I cried for almost all my papers.
Because, I didnt meet my expectations. Its really such a disappointment. )':
But, I'm not going to give up just like that.
I'm going to prove that, I can do it. Better. Yes, I CAN !
So, wait for my Prelims result. Okay ! :DD
Oh, thanks so much for Darlings to be there for me.
& also, not forgetting 4e5 for encouraging me tooooooo ! :]

I'm Back! :D

2009-05-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

Tadaaaaa, I'm back in the internet already.
Sorry for the lack of post, because, my computer spoilt. But go it replaced anyway.
& & , I'm sure that my Bio paper going to flunk. 0% of passing, but 100% of failing. :DD
Damnit. LOLS!

Also, I'm back from Zihan b'dae party.
Outing w/ a large group of people. Rowena, Jocelyn, Shuwen, Xinping, Kendrick, Zachary, Jeremy, Weijin & Cyrus.
Hah, but its fun eh. The most crappest group ever. LOLS!
Ohyes, right now. I should be sleeping, hugging the winnie the pooh tightly.
But, due to my wet hair. I need to wait it to dry first.
Pictures will be uploaded soon. Because I want to watch my Boys over Flowers comics version.
& also, lazy to upload now. :DD
Heh, bye peeps. Blog more next time.

&, I dont want Wednesday to come.
Because, we will start to take back our papers. =.=
Aaaah, whatever. Take it as a practice eh. Keh.

& once again, I knew the truth.

2009-04-21T02:30:00.000-07:00

In the morning, when I'm preparing to go to school.
You came into my room, sat on my bed. & talked with me.
You asked all sorts of questions.
I sat on my chair, rummaging through my bag. & I find myself tearing.
I ignored all those questions, the answer was simple.
Its not that I dont want be like last time, but I just fall so deeply. Just like that.

You left the room, leaving me there.
& again, the last word you said was. You know how well we loves you.
I know ? Or, I dont know ? Because both of you never tells me how much you loves me, but its the scoldings that makes me think that I'm just so useless.

Those words in the morning, had such a great impact on me today.
I cant stop but to hold back my tears.
In the bus, in lessons. In everything, in front of my friends.
& yes, I cried again. During lessons, when everyone was doing their work.
I cant help it, but the naughty tears rolled down again.
So, whose fault is it in the end.
Its mine, cos' you indirectly pointed your fingers at me.
Thanks for so much, for the influence you got on me.
I cant pay attention now during lessons, cos' all the things that running in my mind.
Was just the harsh words, that both of you once used. Thankyou.

I cant stop, but finally break down in front of darlings.
I know very well, that they stood by me.
But, I chose to close my door on them, cos' I dont want to breakdown again.
& truly enough, I break down, once again.
Cos' I just cant help it again.

& I know, how well I'm going to go through all these.
I can no longer assure that, I'll be standing strong & firm.
I only know that, I'm so fragile right now that any moment. I could just break down.
Being strong, was such a tough option for me to choose.
So now, just let me like I wanted to be.

Thanks darlings, for the encouragement once again.
I'm feeling better now.

)':

2009-04-20T01:29:00.000-07:00

Came blogging, to talk about all the unhappiness for this few days.
Yes, I'm breaking down soon. Sooner or later. Thats it.
Friday, great. I cried, in the school.
Actually, partly is the hormones in me wants me to. While the other, I'm still thinking about my quarrel with my dad for so long. Sorry darling, I partly lied to you. :\

Saturday.
Went to visit Tengkang at the hospital around noon.
Had lunch with Jocelyn Darling first, before leaving the house.
Quarreled with Mum. All the thing, is she started first.
In the end, its my fault.
I tried to hold back my tears already. Until when I'm in the lift.
Those tears of mine, just cant stop falling down my cheeks.
Thanks darling for the comfort & the hug you gave. Much appreciated. :]
& anyway, take care TENGKANG! See you soon back in the basketball court. :D

Sunday.
As usual, went jogging with Rowena darling.
Met at inter & walked there. & congrats darling, you improved.
The speed for today was faster than the other days. During Napfa test, must keep constant with this speed oh. ;]
Rested, or should I say we finished our runs.
Sat there, chit chatted. Told darling about the family problems, soon, finding myself sitting there crying.
Thanks darling, for the words & encouragement. :]
Lunched at Ljs, darling came over to study while I did my art & she left around 5 plus.
Finished my art 6 sketches, like finally. While my other notes still havent been touch on yet.

Alright, just came back from school.
Lessons were as usual, bio is making me falling asleep soon. D:
& soon, the hormones inside me changed again.
Sorry Jocelyn darling, I didnt told you what is running through in my mind that time.
Cos' , I'm so afraid that once I start talking about it, the next second, I'll be crying non stop again.
Yes, I hold back my tears, bravely.

I need someone to talk to, & I know my both darlings are always there for me.
But, I'm still feeling down. Cos' I cant stop myself from thinking about the personal issues I got.
The cold war with Dad, since the time he said that I didnt put in effort for my results.
When I actually did. & since that day, we've not spoken to each other.
Had a tiff with Mum on saturday, when she started to be so unreasonable.
For the first time, I retaliate. & left the house without saying anything.

But, have they really understand what I really wants from them.
I just want more concern, & more understanding from them, but not more & more scoldings.
Why, why did they treat me so differently from my brother.
Whenever I take my brother & compare, its both of you told me, that I shouldnt be comparing with him & me.
Well, then why. Both of you likes to compare with me & my cousins.
Yeahs, I know. They way clever than me, the oldest is a UNI graduate, now is working as a pyschologist.
The second oldest, had a good results, now working with a good pay.
The youngest one, had 9 points for her O level paper, & now studying in a JC.
So, why are you comparing me with them ?
By all means, cos' I dont even want to care now.

Once, when we had so much quarrels during last year.
One night, both of you came into my room. Talking sense into me, that was the day when I told you how I felt for the past few years.
Its you, who said that if got troubles, must tell you. So that you can understand how I feels.
Great, that was the time I believed in. Cos' I thought you will really understand.
But, just after a few more months, when the same thing happens again, the same thing started.
& then I realised this, is that You will never ever understands how I feel.

There's so much difference within how you treat my brother and me.
I feel so left out , I find that, you all are bias towards him.
Just like this, I & him are just like a team member for a soccer match.
You both, were a coach to us.
Both of us were in the court.
Brother did something wrong, he got a yellow card.
When I did the same mistake, I didnt get a yellow card, but a red card.

I thought, we will always be in the same position in your hearts.
But when such things happen, I know truely. Where I stand in your heart.
I'm just, nothing. Yes, nothing.
He got a warning, when he did something wrong.
He can keep repeating the same mistakes, but yet, there's still many chances for him.
Whereas, I got nothing. I got no warning, but I got punished for doing the same mistakes.

You said that, I stand the most impt place in your heart that night.
You said, since young, you loves me the most.
But now, I knew that its all a lie. Cos' , brother always got the best.
He got a best birthday party during primary school, while I get nothing.
When he requested he wanted a play station, both of you brought him to the shop & straight away bought for him.
When I requested I wanted just a mp3, both of you said that its a waste of money.
I had to save up, just to get my first mp3.
When he asked if he could stay overnight at a friend chalet, both of you agreed immediately.
Whne I only asked if I could go to my friend chalet, both of you gave me that fcuking face.
There's such a great gap in b/w us, but yet. You always says that, you treat us the same. Bullshit.

I thought, I was treated equally. & when this happens like now, I know. I'm just nothing. He means more to you.
No matter how hard I put in my effort in studies, in everything. I'm always behind my brother.
Yes, thats how the fact it turns out to be .

Where is the Dad that jokes with me when we were feeling bored.
Where is the Mum that will come into my room every night to had a peek at me while I'm sleeping.
Where is the once family that I feel so fortunate to have .
Where has it gone to.

But now, I chose not to believe in all these.
I chose not to believe in the words that you promised saying that you will understand me.
Right now, I choose to isolate from you people.
I choose to drift apart from this family, when days goes by.
I feel nothing in it, so that one day. When you started scolding & screaming your head off at me, I can feel nothing.
Its you, that choose to give up on me. When I didnt make conversation with you people.
But, why is it me that needs to start everything first.
I dont want to give in, which means I had to admit that everything was my fault when it's not me.
I choose not to give in this time, I just wanted to let you people know that, I did nothing wrong.

When all this happens all at a time, I feel like dying.
I feel like running from home.
I feel like transforming myself into a cloud, so that I got no worries.
I feel like stabbing myself with a knife, to stop all these.
I feel like giving up on myself, because I know that both of you soon will lose hope in me.
I feel like running away from this truth.
I feel like asking the world to let the time stop when I had my last happy memories.
I feel like, disacknowlegding myself with this family.
I hope that, I wasnt your child.
I hope that, what I always wanted is encouragement but not scoldings.
I hope that, this was all a dream.
I wish that, I could die.
I wish that, both of you can change for me.
But, I know that all this wouldnt happen.

There's no point for me crying every night, wetting my pillow my blanket.
I dont want myself from lacking of sleep due to the crying for hours in the night.
I dont want to let my friends around me worrying.
I dont want to break down in school, crying non stop.
I dont want all these, to affect me in my exams & studies.

From now on, I should smile. Smile; even when life falls.
I should use this, when I feel like crying.
I should be facing this bravely, even if how hard it will be, I can do it.
I dont want to make myself looking so tired.
I dont want to affect myself when I suddenly think about all these.
Yes, all these. Should end soon.
There's so many things waiting for me to do, life's are always full of surprises.
Yes, I should stop crying in front of this computer now.

Lastly, I had no courage to apologise for everything.
Right now, I express through here.
I'm sorry, Dad. Mum.
I failed my duty as a daughter.
Your son, can do a better job than me.

& to my 2 great Darlings, thanks for being there for me. :]
Dont have to worry about me anymore, alright.
I'll stand up strong & firm. Loves always.

Baaaaaahbooooooom. :/

2009-04-13T03:51:00.000-07:00

Just got back from home & had a shower already. :]
Now smelling nice nice. :DD LOLS! Lame. =.=
Have been rushing my art course work & the sketches for everything.
Gosh, I spent 7 hours. Just on the sewing part. You can guess how much it is.
Without resting or taking a short break, 7 hourse non stop.
& hopefully, the cloth I get back in result will be something rewarding ?
Sketches, rushed everything too.
Felt so stressed up, because Mr M. wanted us to complete our boards asap.
&, due to the MYE. We got to stop working on our O level art.
Which means, less time for us to do the preparation thingy. :/
Was so super duper wuper stress, that I cried. :S in front of the stupid cloth, in front of the stupid sketches. Wooooooots, was like so 'great' mansx.
Finally, did everything. But still, boards uncomplete.
Wonder how long am I going to take it until the end of the O level.
It seems so fast, but yet. It seems so slow, when doing everything.
Should start preparing for my MYE art sketches tooo. :D

Anyway, my mum just helped me by cutting my fringe.
& it looooooooooks cooooool ?
Because, I already personally requested her by telling her not to cut till too short or straight.
I said, I want a slanted fringe hor.
Was whining to her when she start snipping off, bit by bit.
Until when she said done, looked in the mirror. To my horror, it seems so straight.
My mum still can laugh right in front of me. She still commented this. : "Ehs, still can go out see people one okay. Still can presentable leh. Quite nice what. "
I was like, aaaaah. Yeah la yeah la. & shoo her off.
I should make a wiser choice next time, shouldnt I ?

Got to go right now for my dinner. Stomach grumbling.
Update soon by this weekend ? :DD I know you guys will miss my post. Heeeeh. XD
& one more thing to add, I got myself a KinderJOY! The EGGG! :D Heeehs, its so cute ley! :D
Wakakaka, I ate the wrong medicine today morning. Off I go, dooodles.
:]]

Booobaaaaaam. :D

2009-04-03T01:52:00.000-07:00

Oh, finally got the time off to get a real update.
Everything's going to cut short. :] Because, due to my short-term memory, I totally forgotten what I did in details for the past few days.

Sunday.
Went jogging as usual with Rowena darling, Clive a new member. :D
Jog 6 rounds, but ohmygosh. Due to the sore throat I'm having, the throat seems to be stuck with one big lump of thing.
Coughing all the way, with insufficient oxygen. But still completed. :]
Sat down there, had a quick chat. Rest , walked to inter to have our lunch.
Finished, finally Joshua is making his way down to Clive house for study.
So, headed down to the bus stop to wait for Joshua.
Reached, walked to Clive house. :D not a long journey, but I think, I will get lost there.
Because, I had totally forgotten which pathway leads to his home.
I only remember, the gate is green colour. Thats all. :\
They said Joshua & I had siblings look. Ehs, both of us were just tan.
But they insist that we look alike. Heh, I dont know. :D
Laughed at Daryl's joke. Its so hilarious, that till now when I looked at Daryl, I cant stop laughing.
2 guys at the back trying to imitate Daryl's voice, but Clive's is much more alike.
Reached Clive's home, explored his big big home.
Waited for Clive's to finish his bath, & he showed us his drum skills.
First time seeing a person playing drum in front of me, I was like. Wooooooow. So cooooool ~
At 1 , start our revision at once.
Studied, test each other. After doing for 4 chapters, had a rest.
& did notes. Girls can do work longer than guys, because. After a while. both of them couldnt take it anymore & went to play cards.
While the 2 girls sat down there doing notes.
Guys were making so much noise, but it was damn hilarious.
At 6 plus, left. & Rowena's mum send me home. :D

Tuesday.
Didnt go for PE due to my throat. Sat there & chatted with Dionne's ( with the surname same as mine! :DD )
Chatted on alot of things, & felt sad for this particular person whom I cant reveal the identity.
Chemistry, did on the redox reaction thingy. Finally, understood all the concepts. :]
E.history, copy notes. English, my goodness. Sleeping aura nearing me.
Maths after lunch. After lesson, went visit friend with Darling.
Sad stuff, bla. Emotionally affected. But, life still goes on anyway.
Walked to inter & took bus home with darling.

Thursday.
Art, approved. & soon, going to start sewing my cloth.
I think I will go mad sewing it due to the many many lines on the cloth. *faints*
After school, went Bedok Mac to study with darling.
Had a hard time drawing the bio diagram.
Headed back home at 5 plus.
Night, did all my notes until 12 midnight. Was damn, so tired.

Friday.
Just finished my tuition. Everything's alright now.
Anyway, Joc Darling. :]
Do cheeeeer up, no matter what happens.
Give some time to sort things out. Alright ?
Its not the end of the world, things will be fine soon.
Stay strong. :] Iloveyou. &sorry. For being the last person to cheer you up.
Everything will be fine. Jiayou~

So many h/w waiting for me. .___. can cough blood sia.
Tomorrow, will be out for the qing ming jie.
Morning, cousins will come & eat for lunch together.
Hectic day, hopes the weather tomorrow will be windy.
The weather nowadays, is tooo HOT already. Can perspire like crazy.
HAHAHAHA! Okay, fine. I'm lame.

Tags Replies :
Clara : Linked you up soon, toooo! :]
Jocelyn : Heh, you expect me to call you middle of my tuition ? LOLS! I think I end up getting a scolding from my teacher sia. :DD
Coach Sabrina : Aaaaah, THANKS! :DD Imissyousomuch! :x
Rowena : LOLSLOLS! I drank alot of water for the past few days, okay! :D Thank you for the support & encouragement. *bow* LOLS! Iloveyoutooooola .! Flying kiss ~
Leongbing : Ha, lols. Thanks anyway. :]
Jean : Ha, I'm fine now. Thank you~ :DD

I'm tired.

2009-03-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

Great, finally can get a real update. ! ;]
Still feeling soooo sick. :S great, my body burning right now.
Design layout gotten approve. So, will be working on it soon. :]
Just, this few days things wasnt going that great.
& I had enough of it already.

Got ranted by my dad yesterday after my tuition.
Was so exhausted & tired already. But yet, he continued.

Pissed off. Disappointment. Felt like running from home yesterday night.
I really dont know why. But I already did my best.
Cant he see the improvement I did for my CA marks.
But why, why must he still say that I didnt put in my best.
When I really did.
They dont understand, dont they ?
They only know how to rant at us, but never thought of our feelings.
What for getting A, Bs for my test, when they didnt even appreciate it.
I did put in all my best for my studies, cant they even let me relax some times.
Even its a small test, but I still studied for it. Treating it seriously.
But, they just dont see the improvement I got in the end.
Tired of it already, what for trying so much.

I had my own limit of tolerance.
I tried to make the best of everything .
But yet, everything became my fault .
Fine then, I stopped giving in anymore.
I dont wanna give a damn to it anymore.
I dont want to try my best anymore.
In the end, even if I lose it. But, I know that I tried my best already.
I dont want to bring more trouble to myself anymore, cause I had enough of it.
Enough is enough, my tolerance going burst soon.
Dont come complain & blame on me again.
I had enough of those, really enough.
I should just stop playing a good person anymore.
I should one day just flare up & lose all my temper, because I dont give a damn to it anymore.

Ohgreat, you really brought down everything.
This totally sucks.
Because one thing is that, you never changed.
I should be the one changing. Not you.
Fcuk off mansx. I'm not giving a damn anymore.
Go on & complain at me then, I fucking really had enough!!